101 reasons why not to plant british flags in other countries to 'claim the land'

Whilst sitting on a tedious train journey to london from stoke to visit the houses of parliament. I thought to myself "christ miguel, this is reet boring". Possibly because i had a borderline dyslexic bastard with pink hair writing a song about star wars next to me and a floppy haired spanner magnet on the other side.

So i thought to myself, i thought "david? david wakelin? WHAT ABOUT MITOSIS YOU INCREDIBLE ROFL YOU???//??/??/SLASH"

and it all started there

in parliament duroing the question time stuff, i thought that it could be made so much more interesting, yes the polticial pwnage was good. but there wasnt enough spitting or saber duels. This could potentially make the place my 7th heaven. Also they should stop being so nice

eg..."could the right honourable gentleman from the consituency of Fife please SHUT THE FUCK UP MAYBE?"

eg..."Yeah i gotta a proposal for you...HOW ABOUT I KILL YOUR WIFE AND KIDS BITCH?"

eg..."HERES WHAT I THINK OF YOUR SHITTY TAX HIKE" *do a huge shit on the middle table*

Less of the formalities. Everyone comes in with flip flops AND socks...as thats the british way.


Oh and there should be more star wars quotes in british politics...For example the PM is consulting his party and hes forever glaring at them saying "i find your lack of faith disturbing".

THATS NO MOON

speaking of moons, i hate tomatoes...taste like shit they do

DO OR DO NOT, THERE IS NO TRY

that reminds me of something my dad once said to me "FUCK OFF YOU SCRATTY BELLEND" was what he used to say. charming man, really now

Sitting in teh barbeh's shop waiting for a cut the other day and a bloke comes i nand to cut the story short, he said his brother nearly dropped a sound system on margaret thacthers head in buckingham palace for this ww2 aniversary thing for VE day...and he cuckled to himself "he'd have been a reet working class hero!!!!11!!1111!1111". Is safe to say i slaughtered his dog outside the shop with a razor blade, a bottle of turpentine and a match. I MEAN, I KISSED A BUST OF THATCHER, INCLUDING THE BUSTS...ALL THREE OF EM INFACT.